i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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