I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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