Sry I called you an 8
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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