i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
