He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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