I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
