I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
