If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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