Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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