Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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