Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
