had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Randomize
