I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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