why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
