My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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