she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
