i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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