I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
