How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
