I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Randomize
