He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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