So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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