You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
