Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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