just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I bet he comes in French.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
