For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
