I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
