i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
