I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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