K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
