if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
