the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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