hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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