Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
