I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
