The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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