And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
