So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
