There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
