Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
