How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we're so committed to being not committed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
