Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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