Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
