so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
