chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
