If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
