Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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