Umm I'm too high to move.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
