its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
