I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
