Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
